A Beautiful Mind.

Posted Tue, 01 Sep 2009 21:33:00 GMT

Part 1 of a blog series on Mental Health Disorders.

 

 A huge study conducted by the World Health Organisation came up with the ten leading causes of ill mental health; in developed countries people affected mentally are majorly within the 15 – 44 age group, the progressive disorders closely linked and are the following:

 

1.       Major Depressive Disorder

Also knows as Clinical Depression or Unipolar depression; Patients diagnosed with MDD also suffer from insomnia are unsociable and can also be suicidal. With low moods, no self confidence and being unable to enjoy general activities and can also suffer from self neglect.

2.       Alcohol use

In terms of substance use, alcohol abuse has a higher statistic rate of sufferers than those with alcohol dependence or those abusing drugs. Long term effects are the psychological well being with adverse reactions to the brain. Sustained alcohol use creates severe anxiety and depression which in most cases creates prolonged abstinence

3.       Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Abbreviated PTSD is an anxiety disorder is triggered as with most mental disorders by an extreme psychological trauma, this could involve the death of a loved one, unwanted sexual act or even a physical injury. Re-occurring flashbacks and difficulty falling and staying asleep, fear of losing control are all typical symptoms

4.       Schizophrenia

Is a mental disorder that is described as one person’s abnormalities in trying to grasp on to what is reality to what is just a play of their unstable minds. Schizophrenia also affects the five senses sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. Hallucinations and paranoia play a major factor in the characteristics. All which can be offset in early adult hood. Life expectancy to those without the disorder is 10-20 years less.

5.       Self inflicted injuries

The deliberate infliction of self harm, tissue damage, alteration to the body which also includes those with eating disorders usually aimed at relieving unbearable emotions or sensations to a non existing reality of numbness, listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental disorders as a borderline personality disorder

6.       Bipolar Disorder

Commonly referred to as manic depressives, bipolar sufferers tend to experience mixed episodes of hypomania. Moods have a mix of high and low. The disorder has been divided in to three different types Bipolar I Bipolar II and Cyclothymiacs. Also seen as a genetic disorder can be a long term and devastating or creative, goal driven and positive achievements.

7.       Drug use

Depending on the type of drug being used it can lead to many health problems inducing symptomatically which resembles mental illness, some cases psychotic symptoms can occur long after detoxification, such as prolonged Psychosis or depression.

8.       Obsessive Compulsive Disorders

A typical OCD sufferer vague obsession can involve a disarray or tension that ones life cannot proceed as normal if an imbalance remains. It is an anxiety induced disorder of intrusive thoughts bought on by repetitive behaviour. Most sufferers of OCD can admit to their problem it is usually the realisation of their problem that causes further distress.

9.       Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Mainly occur amongst children who suffer with the impairment of functioning in everyday settings such as schools, relationships and in the home. If not treated could have long term adverse reactions later on in life.

10.   Borderline Personality Disorder

Characterised by persuasive instability in moods those suffering with BPD have instability in their sense of self-identity, high rates of self harm and suicide but can be treated and improved over time.

 

More support programmes and better care needs to be available to patients as well as carers. It can be emotionally draining and stressful without any support. Different disorders have different symptoms but many are volatile, argumentative and sometimes sufferers are unable to control their physical reactions. Some almost as if they are helpless children, need to be bathed and general day to day activities need to be done for them.

 

There are a few funded organisations and charities who offer help. The leading organisation in the United Kingdom at the moment is MIND, National Association for Mental Health who is a charity and dependent on donations. Their campaigns help provide information and advice to promote the protection of good mental health in everyone.

Sima Rahman


An update from Dhaka - Brishti Shonali (Golden Rainfall)

Posted Mon, 27 Apr 2009 03:56:00 GMT

 

I am into my final days of my visit here in Dhaka, and it is with a heavy heart that I have some devastating news to pass on to you guys. In my first blog, I wrote about a young boy that I met, Rabbi. In the last few days I have been unable to relocate him, his peers have claimed that an elder lady who was claiming to be his grandma (dhadi) has taken him away from the station. Rabbi, was extremely upset and his peers told me that he was kicking and screaming as she took him away. I asked them if they thought that she was actually his grandma, to which they all replied that this type of thing happens regularly and that the lady was simply claiming to be his grandma. I asked the station police if they knew of his whereabouts but I was waved off very rudely.
 
As devastating as this news is, the kids of the station seem to be completely desensitised to this type of occurrence, for them this is daily life. A few days back, we held some intensive interviews with some of the kids that we have selected to take on in our centre. Our selection process is varied, in that there are many issues that the youngsters face in the station. Boys seem to respond readily to classes whereby they can actively participate and practice writing etc. The girls seem very disinterested in the class setup yet are very responsive to roleplays etc. It is fair to say that there are no two children in the station who face exactly the same problems and issues. 
 
All the interviews have been filmed and I will hopefully get the film edited in time for you all to see at our May 2nd event. I wanted to give you a little detail about one particular girl, her name is Brishti Shonali (Golden Rainfall). She is no older than 7 and extremely restless; she has a short attention span and on the surface is just like any normal 7 year old. Just like our little brothers or sisters, nieces or nephews, she always wants to sing and dance, fool around and is extremely easily influenced. This little girl was abandoned in the station by her step mother who used to beat her because she was hyperactive. She has been left in the station to fend for herself for the past two years. Any opportunity she gets, she tries to beg for small change. She has even tried to beg off me many times. In return, I replicated her actions, which she found hilarious and immediately, jumped on me to give me a massive hug. 
 
In the interview, we discovered that she has self harmed using blades on her forearm. She did this as she saw older girls in the station doing the same thing. They all sit in the evening together and drink Dandy (an alcopop), and as they talk about their plights, they take blades to their forearms and repeatedly cut themselves. I asked Dr Zaki about this, as he has done an intense research study on this area, and claims that this type of behaviour was first introduced by local mastans who would cut a working girls forearm as part of some sort of sadomasochistic (S&M) ritual. As these working girls were staying in the station , the slightly younger girls would see these cuts and replicate. It has now become so common that even this tiny innocent 7 year old has self harmed. She has also taken drugs in tablet form and also addicted to glue sniffing. To wean these children off drugs such as these and to remove the afflictions they have faced at such a young age will no doubt be hard work, and God willing and with your help we will get there. To even be able to rehabilitate one person, I believe, is enough for us to die happy.
 
From Rabbi’s experiences, I have also been asking our kids about the activities of the roof of Kamlapur Station. All the kids have infomed me that there is a dangerous guy who lives up there by the name of Shad Bai Chompka. According to them he is the major ring leader of all the activities in the station, from drugs distribution to molestation and prostitution. The station police are well informed of his activities, but they too are paid by him to keep quiet and allow the smooth flow of his operations. There is not a single MP in Bangladesh or Upazilla Chairman (local councillor) who has lobbied for the safe protection of the children of Kamplapur Station against all these disgusting and horrendous activities that the children are exposed to. The children are prone to all kinds of diseases, infections, abuse and misuse, yet the people who run this country, or who are influential in this country, do not bat an eyelid. In fact, from my own relatives, to locals of the station and our centre, right the way even to NGO bureau director (yes the director), have discouraged me from our planned actions. They have repeatedly told me that programmes such as ours fail, that programmes such as our do not work, that it is an impossible task to rehabilitate these children, that we wont be able to succeed in our intentions. I believe, as I know that you do too, that with enough support and with enough passion, with the right blend of enthusiasm and energy, the right blend of experience and knowledge, while one person alone may not be able to instill change, collectively, we can, we will and we shall.
 
I am committed with every ounce of energy, every bead of sweat and everything that I have to make change happen. Who is with us? Show your support, make some sound and lets voice the voiceless. Our ambitions, yes, are big, our belief is bigger but more than ever before, We Need YOU!!!

Paradoxical - An update from Dhaka

Posted Wed, 22 Apr 2009 19:45:00 GMT

 

It is known as the city of mosques, yet some of the stories I have heard here over the past couple of days are beyond immoral. A country which celebrates its independence on almost a daily basis find some of its most needy citizens steeped in an unending maze of control by local mastans. 
 
The last few days have been difficult in the sense that getting things done here continually seems to be such a long process, the temperature is reaching unbearable levels and the stories and the gross conditions I have been seeing on a daily basis seem to be just getting more and more difficult to accept. But it is the reason for the peril that I mentioned in my last blog that kids like Rabbi face that has been on my mind these past few days. As I mentioned above, a city known as the City of Mosques (literally on every corner) would seemingly be full of spiritual and moral inhabitants. How is it then that immoral acts such as paedophilic sodomy can exist here? Bangladesh is a country which is rightly proud of its sovereignty and celebrates its independence constantly and yet the children and the struggling poor who are living on the streets of Dhaka, seem to be caught in a tangle of street warfare between mastans who use, abuse and expose these helpless people to things which no human should be. The power for struggle even encapsulates the local police, area security guards and from some of the third party stories you here from street dwellers even government officials and ministers. Bangladesh is known the world over for being one of the poorest countries in the world. How is it then, that prostitution, normally associated as a disease of a side effect of capitalism, plagues the most poorest of the country’s citizens? Unfortunately, I am yet to find the answers to such rhetoric, but I felt it was important that these paradoxicals be put in the public realm, so that even if for a second, readers who were not so aware of my country’s perils could be made aware.
 
I have an unnerving belief that if my fellow brothers and sisters in humanity are aware of such problems and issues, then they will find it within themselves, to at least raise awareness to their friends and family. 
 
I spent the weekend in my home village visiting family etc and arrived back here on Monday morning. In the afternoon, I met with Shuzon and Jakia – our two newest recruits. Shuzon will be working as a full time teacher and mentor and Jakia will be working as part of our outreach programme but also providing additional support and teaching a few subjects that she specialises in herself. On Tuesday  I also met with Shahera who will be working as our homekeeper and has a wealth of experience including working previously as a teacher in a Brac school and also working as a motivator for street children. Alongside this, we have our existing field outreach Shoeb and of course our project co-ordinator, Dr Zaki. I really feel that we now have a core team here in Bangladesh, who between them have a wealth of experience, an abundance of energy and huge passion for our work.   I will be meeting with a few potential counsellors and nurses tomorrow also before making hiring decisions on Saturday. We have been working consistently on upgrading our building and renovating certain aspects. I will be spending Friday evening adding the finishing touches myself (lick of paint etc).
 
Tomorrow, Shuzon, Jakia and myself will be visiting the Newmarket and Nikilhet bazaars to purchase schooling equipment (boards, writing books, sketch books, chalk, teaching books etc) and will also be making final orders for furniture such as beds and dining table etc. Friday and Saturday, during the day we will be holding some final focus groups with the kids and then on to some outdoor teaching also. As I mentioned on Friday evening I will be doing the final finishing touches inside the rooms and on Saturday evening, all the furniture will arrive and fixtures and fittings put into place. On Sunday, we are aiming to hold our first official classes inside the centre.
 
At this time, I wanted to end on a plea to all readers who may feel helpless to our cause to attend our event on May 2nd where you will be able to see first-hand the exact work I have been doing here when we will hopefully screen the footage I have filmed whilst here (gonna be a mad scramble to get the film edited next Thursday and Friday, lol).Our ambition is to eventually, house, feed, educate, provide medical support, psychological therapy, and creative nourishment to these kids. I ask you all at this time not to desert us and show your support to our cause. Perhaps, once we can financially support our ambitious plans, we can then set about answering some of the rhetoric with which I opened this blog.
 
Its nearly 1am here, and on that note, I wish you all a wonderful evening. God bless, and peace be upon you all!

Update from Dhaka - April 2009

Posted Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:10:00 GMT
 
 

I have been in Dhaka for about a week now, and I wanted to keep all supporters of Restless beings updated with regards to my progress here.

 
Firstly, let me explain to you the environment here in Dhaka. The weather here is swelteringly hot, daytime temperatures of about 39C humidity is high at around 80% or so and nightime temperatures are not much better with an average of around 33C. The political situation is horrendous here, with practically no law on the ground. I’ll give you an example, the drivers of Dhaka never follow the roadside traffic lights, on top of that yesterday on my travels, a traffic warden had asked a truck behind me to stop, the driver continued for maybe a maximum of another 5 meters. His punishment for this was literally a beating with the policeman’s stick. I am regularly stuck in traffic jams for at least 5 hours per day, a simple trip from my hotel to Kamlapur Station, a mere 6 km took over 2 hours. Yesterday, the country celebrated Paila Baishakhi, or the first day of the Bangla New Year. Security was extremely tight, and I am regularly hearing of the woes of living in Dhaka. Power outages occur every hour for about 30 mins which means Dhaka only has electricity for half an hour every hour.
 
Two days ago, Dr Zaki, our project co-ordinator and Shoeb, our fieldworker accompanied me to Kamplapur Rail Station. This is the hub of many of the marginalised children in Dhaka. We spoke to a number of children, but I wanted to let you know of one child in particular, a young 8 year old boy named Rabbi. He normally roams around the station and is well kn to oour fieldworker, with whom he has spoken on a number of occasions. We wanted to conduct an in depth interview to him, and we approached him around 6.15 pm just as the day was passing to night. Having asked him what he normally gets up to in the day, he answered a mumbled answer which consisted of roaming around looking for scraps of food. We had also noticed that he had a severe bruise on his forehead, and with Zaki being a medical doctor, naturally he inquired a little further. 
 
Initially, Rabbi had told us that he had banged his head against a moving train. Naturally, this would have caused far greater injury than merely a bruise on his forehead and so we enquired a little further. Zaki mentioned that it looked more like he had his head ht against a wall or a floor. With this little encouragement, Rabbi told us that in actual fact he had been pushed against the floor by the station police guard in toilets. He wanted to close the conversation pretty quickly, but we obviously wanted to know what Rabbi had done for the police to have pushed him to the floor, so we continued to question Rabbi. By this time, a number of his friends had gathered around and they were encouraging Rabbi to tell us the truth. Initially Rabbi had feared that I may be some sort of authority figure also, as he didn’t recognise me. But as he was familiar with both Zaki and Shoeb, they explained that I was simply the director of the project they were working on. He then continued to tell us his story. Total darkness had descended and moreover, the power had cut so the entire station was plunged into darkness.
 
As Rabbi had become a little more relaxed, he told us of how the station police guard had taken him into the toilets and had tried to force Rabbi to perform oral sex on him. As Rabbi tried to run away, the police inspector had smashed Rabbi against the wall of the toilet. Rabbi eventually got away as commuters had come in to use the toilet and the police inspector was embarrassed to continue in front of passengers. At this point Zaki enquired whether or not this type of thing happened regularly. Rabbi and his friends told us that oral sex was relatively minor compared to the sodomy that occurs also. They told of us how local station users and wealthy affluent middle class men would visit the station and use the young boys for the sexual desires. When asked if any of the group of boys worked as prostitutes, they all vehemently denied. I asked Rabbi, if he himself had ever been subjected to acts of sodomy, he replied that he had when he first came to the station more than 6 months ago.
 
He told us of how a middle aged man had come into the station, began talking with him and then accompanied him to the roof of the station. Here, the man raped rabbi. Rabbi had obviously bled excessively and passed out from the pain. The next thing he remembered was the man admitting him into the local hospital. After some treatment, two days later he was again in the station. 
 
This absolutely put me into a state of shock, I wasn’t sure of how to react but I was also aware that any negative reaction from me would mean Rabbi would not continue to talk to us out of embarrassment. Zaki continued with his questioning.
 
The group of boys had told us that they could take us to the roof of the station and show us the type of abuse they are regularly subjected to. They also informed us that normally, the customers would pay in the region of 40 taka (40p) for anal intercourse with the boys. They also said that if we didn’t want to go and see the obscenities now, they would take us in the morning when we could still see the blood marks of the night before. Again we inquired if they themselves had been selling their bodies to the station passengers and authorities, which again they denied. In honesty, in my mind and also in Dr Zaki’s, the boys may deny their involvement in prostitution, but aside from the money, there is nothing else that keeps them there.
 
It was unfortunate that we could not film any of the interviews as there was no light (power outages). It is kids like Rabbi who we have been tracking and keeping in touch with over the past months and who we are now looking to move into our rehab centre. In my next blog, I will let you all know how the building is coming along and our progress in opening the centre. It is such a shame that in a country which is advanced enough to enable me to write this blog as I travel in the back of a car and load it up onto the internet while on the move, that there is not a single politician who is lobbying the case for children like Rabbi. This is a polar country and a polar society and to be really honest, I am not sure where I fit in the spectrum, nor am I sure whether I want to fit in the spectrum.
 
Till next time, with all the love from children like Rabbi and team Bangladesh, and me, peace out!

Mabrur - 15 April 2009 - a very restless being.
 

OUR WANTS VERSUS THEIR NEEDS

Posted Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:07:00 GMT

It’s been just over six months since I joined Restless Beings and thereupon visited the  proposed site for a rehab centre and home for the needy yet awesome street kids of Dhaka.

I wrote in my first blog a couple of weeks after my return at how concerned I was at the state of affairs, in fact I stated:
‘Witnessing things ‘on the ground’ reminds oneself that there are many who through no fault of their own have been given hopeless starts in their lives and have a right to a support structure which will give them a chance to attaining respectful self-sufficiency.’

So that was six months ago? What have we done for these kids?
Well I genuinely can’t believe how far we’ve come
In September the ‘Big Ten Challenge’ was launched, an initiative focused on raising £10k for the rehab centre, this was an audacious project achieved in less than two months. ….. And with rising awareness of the organization and its cause, come more and more contributions. The generosity of so many of our donors has been phenomenal….My faith in human nature restored
Well, thanks to all this, the Rehab centre will open next month, with at least 15 kids taken straight from the street, giving them increased control over their futures.

However:
There is still a long way to go, it is essential that we sustain the project through monthly contributions, hence the launch of our latest initiative ‘We Need You’, which focuses on securing a regular cash inflow via standing orders. Without this stable finance the project will collapse and all the children we have promised a change get nothing.

And why should we give?
Simply, we just don’t give enough and now in particular is a time for reflection….

Now?
Well unless you’ve been on a Buddhist retreat in Nepal (good for you..) you will know we are in the midst of a  pretty serious economic crisis.

And why has this all happened?
To cut a long story short, for too long we have had it too good, as individuals many of us have been able to borrow at will to finance a continued supply of unnecessary wants, often with no regard to our ability to re-pay these debts.
 …and so have businesses. The credit tap was switched on max for too long, and now its been turned down to a trickle – the ‘credit crunch’. Now businesses reliant on borrowing have gone down e.g. Woolworths and many others are demonstrating unprecedented caution.
  
BUT for those who think the current crisis is even more reason to not think charitably, think again…
The current crisis is actually an opportunity, an opportunity for us to re-evaluate our lifestyles, to cut down on wants (which we think are needs but are really wants :)), and moreover to make that sacrifice for those far less needy than us. We can all do it…
As a rule of thumb I do not disclose my own charitable donations – its something v personal however it is wrong for me to sit here and preach about sacrificing luxuries without mentioning my own efforts, so YES…
 I have given up 1 session a month with my trainer Joao (despite the positive impact on body and soul it is ridiculous for me to think it’s a ‘need’) so that I can contribute monthly to a really worthy cause. And it feels great………………………….
So instead of giving my cash to Joao (If you’re reading this, you’re a diamond geezer and you’ve done so much for me :)) who lives in a luxury flat in Covent Garden my contribution will provide the children with -
  • The safety of having a roof over their head and a place they can rest at night
  • Three meals per day to rid the children of malnutrition
  • Full medical care and assistance to ensure the children are immunised against major diseases
  • Psychological counselling to ensure that any sensitive issues or abuse cases are handled and help the children to overcome their ordeals (including self harm and substance misuse as well as physical and sexual abuse)
  • A manageable education, where the children are taught according to their capabilities
  • An array of life skills lessons that will empower the children with real vocational ability that they can use. As an organisation we believe in a holistic approach to developing these young people, and the key here is to encourage autonomy and confidence
  • Creative Nourishment & Growth: A programme which involves the development of key skills and talents of each child to promote creative growth, which may open the doors to opportunities that these children would not normally have
And I’m so looking forward Insha’Allah (Arabic phrase meaning ‘God willing’) to visiting the centre sometime within the next 12 months to actually tangibly see how my donation is contributing towards a needed change in a helpless child’s life.
So seriously, lets all think about sacrificing our wants so that we can finance their needs. My favourite one-liner of all time is ‘Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth’

Tariq -  2009 - Restlessbeings


Citizens of the world...

Posted Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:28:00 GMT

It was yet another cold winter’s evening in London, the sky was overcast with clouds, the scent of foredooming rain could be picked out of the breeze, amongst the hundred other aromas London is well known to possess. But a particular aroma that one rarely comes across was soon to fill the air in front of the India House, that of burning candle wax.

I was walking to Southbank from the top of Aldwych, taking pictures for my portfolio and going to meet some friends at a Christmas market. I noticed a few police officers standing near India House, and considering what had happened just a few days ago this didn’t surprise me. But that there was a very small crowd of twenty people in the square of India house, in a circle, sporting white armbands did. On approaching the group I eaves dropped that they were holding some sort of manifestation, and asked a young man by the name of Oaisim what was going on. A spontaneously organised candle light vigil for the dead of the massacre in Mumbai was being organised, by friends, relatives and concerned Indian citizens.

I left these volunteers and driven individuals to their organising, since I had a rendezvous on the other side of the Thames. Upon my return the whole square was packed with people, holding candle in their hands, the wax dripping on their bare skin, cupping the flame of almost 200 dead from the chilly wind that threatened to blow it out. Most of the faces in this crowd were blank, a few hid their tears well, as if they were still under shock from what happened. Although the mood was not sober, it was more one of impatience, this was not a public mourning; it was a vigil and a call to arms from within the Indian community in London.

The many speakers that came forth presented their thoughts, raised several points and expressed their sorrow and disgust for what happened in the best ways they could. Speaking words of passion and lost love, and not of hate or restlessness, some struggled to raise their voices so that the whole congregation could hear, but all passed on their thoughts through action. Through being together, on a cold winters Sunday, as the foreshadowed rain started to drizzle down, none moved.

There were a couple of press photographers and a reporter present, marauding the crowd with their camera clicks and high intensity flashes. They were there to bear witness for the rest of the city, absent and unknowing of this occurrence, much like I would have been if I had not stumbled upon this scene and enquired about what was happening. I personally took some snap shots, available for all to see on my profile, for the benefit of recording this event and tracing its story. These members of the press were asked to join in on holding hands together in silence, but because of professionalism they had to refuse. I seemed to have been the only one, with camera in hand, to have held a candle, said a prayer under the rain, and held hands with fellow brothers from another nation under the gaze of the bronze bust of Jawaharlal Nehru, towering over the square. I simply felt the need to be part of this, and not just to be a spectator, as I signed the guestbook that was being passed around, Nicola Lazzari, Citizen of the world. It is with this in mind that I wrote this article, and added the pictures to facebook, hope it gave you a glance into something that happened, but you probably never would have known.

My greatest condolences go to those who have lost loved ones in these attacks, and as always I shout out to the world; LOVE LIFE AND PEACE.

- All thoughts and pictures:
© Nicola Lazzari, alias Speaking Aperture


Late On A Monday Morning

Posted Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:29:00 GMT

The morning rush – hour is undoubtedly the worst part of my day.  It is actually worse than waking up still feeling tired.  I mean of all the places that you want to be at 820 on a Monday morning, the platform of a tube station waiting to be packed in like a sardine, is not anywhere near my ideal.  The worst part is watching the digital clock slowly reaching to the point whereby you are no longer waiting for a train to the point where you are praying for a train to come quickly.  And then it arrives, on your platform, and you are faced with a choice of either squashing someone else and dislocating their shoulder, or awkwardly positioning yourself between a human body and a steel door and dislocating your own shoulder.  Inevitably, its always my shoulder that gets dislocated, because worse than having a bad morning myself, is making someone else’s morning bad too. 

Apart from rambling on about public transport for a bit, the reason why I wanted to introduce my rush hour journey, was to tell the story of an incident I saw unfolding in front of my eyes a few days ago.  Basically, after watching 7 central lines go without being able to get on them and seeing the clock tick from 8.19 – 8.49 (8.42 is the point where I am guaranteed to be late), I finally made it onto the train and as has become statuary, dislocating my shoulder so as not to hurt anyone else.  The normal, sudden stops that the driver thinks is funny as about a million people come crushing into one other occurred, and my attempt to sleep standing up was broken time and time again.  By the time I had got to Bank station, the train had emptied out a little and I was relieved to be able to feel my toes again after someone had decide to stand on my foot the whole journey.  As people were departing, I noticed from the corner of my eye, that a young lady was tipping to one side, and before my brain could process what I was seeing (I am not slow, it was like, a millisecond) she had feinted and made a heavy thud contact with the floor of the train.  One angry commuter in fact forbade a concerned commuter from ringing the bell as he was ‘F**king late anyway’. 

In fact the lack of support and help from my fellow passengers shocked me, and it was another woman and myself that had got some water for the girl and were helping her to slowly come around.  I couldn’t help but notice that the young lady’s ring on her wedding finger had slid off as she fell to the ground.  It was quite apparent that she was in shock and very quickly she was struck with overwhelming panic and she was no longer responding to questions and completely fazed out.  Angry, concerned, reserved, late, worried passengers all looked down at the girl and she looked back up at them.  The mere act of a few of her fellow passengers to crouch down to her level seemed to be too painful.  She was ushered off by underground staff shortly afterwards so she could regain her awareness.

There are a variety of reasons why she may have feinted.  Being me, with a hyperactive imagination, I had convinced myself that she must have had a barney with her husband in the morning, skipped breakfast and got on the train without him.  In truth, she probably was feeling a bit hot, a bit claustrophobic and a bit sleepy.  The point is, that at some point she will have the chance to call her husband and explain her trauma of the morning commute.  Despite, looking up and seeing disgruntled, angry, concerned and worried faces and feeling like she was an inconvenience and beneath everyone else on that morning train, she would have the chance to either joke about the whole escapade or be lent a shoulder to lean on by her husband.  Either way she has someone. And so do we all.  If we don’t have parents, we have siblings.  If we don’t have siblings, we have friends.  If we don’t have friends, we have colleagues.  If we don’t have colleagues, we have our local newsagent.  We have someone. 

Some have no one. Some have nothing.  And I guess the reason why the whole train thing stuck with me, was because as I leant forward and told the young lady to sip on the water, I remember having the same dialogue with a little boy I met in Dhaka, nearly a year ago.  Most of you guys reading this will remember that image of a little boy with what he thought was a balloon in his mouth.  As I passed him on the rail track last December, I noticed that in fact that balloon was the used contraception of a seedy visit to a ‘working girl’.  I too leant over to him, his name was Akbar, told him to wash his mouth out and sip on water.  He had no one.  I suppose that thought of being alone either in the young lady’s [position or Akbar’s would be scary.  What is scarier is not having someone to talk to about…. 

Blogger – Mabrur Ahmed


Who Are Yer?

Posted Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:32:00 GMT

I don’t know how many readers will relate to this but I grew up as a sly brown guy absorbed into an all-white world and the only black people I knew were Andi Peters and John Barnes (that most prolific of football players),  the only  exposure I had to my forefathers’ world was the odd trip to Bangladesh and the regular rantings and ravings of my mother in her mother tongue.

Although I was subjected to the odd ‘f**k off home’ suggestion  I was generally accepted and was rarely reminded of being different, in fact  my identity was not something I was consumed with, for me I was just the sly brown guy absorbed into an all-white world, completely and naturally detached from my heritage
 
It was only when I got to university when people started asking ‘where are you from?’ ‘My answer was generally ‘from here’, And then it was ‘but where are you really from?’, ‘You’re from Pakistan right?’
When enough people challenge your assumptions then you start to question these yourself.
 
With time whenever people coined the question where are you from?
My answers gradually changed to ‘I am Bengali’, ‘I am from Bangladesh’.
And why did they change?
Am I from Bangladesh? No
Had I become more in touch with my heritage? No.
Did I feel more Bangladeshi? No.
The simple answer was that I was sub-consciously conforming to other people’s expectations of how I should answer the question i.e. I had become a victim of what I would call ‘imposed compartmentalization’.
 
And a lot of us are guilty of this, the number of people I come across who were born and have lived here all their lives and yet call Pakistan ‘home’ when it never will be, Or who call themselves British Muslim, when their actions/ behaviors would suggest otherwise.
 
And who imposes this categorization, it’s a blend of sources but often the media, so over the years my imposed identity has changed from Asian to British Asian to British Bengali to British Muslim. So which am I comfortable with? None
 
So as someone who was no different culturally to my friends Ben and James why was it so ridiculous that I could not be from here. Well I guess it boils down to appearance and more specifically skin colour.
 
Something we are all conditioned to do is to very simply (and wrongly) correlate nationality with skin colour, you know what I mean: Indian= brown, German = white, Chinese = yellow…….
 
So take say William, the Caucasian son of British expats, born in Bangladesh who speaks fluent Bengali and categorically calls Dhaka home.
He will not (never) be (perceived) as Bangladeshi as myself who was born in Yorkshire, speaks broken Bengali and now calls London home.
 
So for me, nationality has nothing to do with appearance, so what does define it? That’s the thing, whatever line of reasoning (e.g. its where you’re born, its where your parents are from…, ) I’ve heard I can never quite buy it…..
 
Nationality is a ‘red herring’, we are all asylum seekers in an open (well not strictly) world and as a result of our changing exposures our identities are in transience.
 
So where am I now?
Well, I am at a stage of my life where I am enjoyably exploring my roots and Restless Beings’ first project is part of the process, but my affiliations are really towards the individuals around me, they are the ones who shape who I am.
In fact to conclude this brief but pertinent discussion on the world we live in I’m going to borrow a post from the Restless Beings’ forum:
 
‘I see it like a big field, you have big trees with their roots growing deep which remain on the field, and then you have insects and animals which may visit the field one season but not the next and you have flowers which grow every year and others which don’t unless prioritised and some that will never grow because the soil in the field is not suitable’.
 
Tariq
Restless Beings
 
p.s. In ‘Happy?’ I wrote:
 
Whilst writing this, am pursuing another passion, namely X-factor (watching, not performing). My fave’s Laura, a cheeky Northerner with a real unique tone, and Daniel Evans (in particular his life story) will bring a tear to your eye every time (guaranteed)… ‘
 
I told you so….

Cultural Identity Crisis

Posted Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:08:00 GMT
My blog is on the subject of confused cultural identities and the struggles some face in their attempts of trying to find a balance in this multicultural, multi-dimensional lifestyle that we lead today.
 
I am writing from my perspective – a British born Asian. I am the eldest of nine children, my parents divorced when I was just over 2 years old and my extended numbers of younger siblings are as a result of both my parents remarrying. Growing up, one of my earliest memories stems from when I was about 4 years old. Anything behind that from as far as I am aware was never a memory. My mother’s stories of her heartache and struggles are all I have and can remember from that age upwards. That heartache she felt is something I feel and blame is a result of the South Asian culture. Times have changed yes, but that is a culture we are still brought up in today.
 
Many say that our people find it hard to differentiate religion with culture, but the vast difference between the to two tell me it’s not difficult, just that our people refuse to acknowledge change and prefer to be ignorant or simple mix the two up to find a ‘convenient’, ‘easy’, ‘acceptable’ and in my eyes ‘confused’ middle ground.
 
I never had a ‘normal’ childhood living with my stepfather and being a step child, the situation was always bought up by distant relatives and family friends at family gatherings such as funerals and weddings and questions were always asked. Curiosity of how my mother had the strength to leave and remarry with another mans child got the better of them, not only was it not the norm for a woman to do so but it was frowned upon. I found it hard to deal with being different, something that plays an enormous part in who I am today.  Being different wasn’t something I wanted to talk about or even admit to myself but as I grew older and as time moved with traditions so did my outlook.
 
I am completely out of touch of my heritage and have struggled to balance in a life where your independence is restricted. I find it easier to be who I am and go completely against all expectations, if I have no association with ‘my’ people, temporarily my life is easier I feel more accepted. My family environment is as far as it is accepted in to my world, a dismissive world in which I live in my bubble of protection.
 
Having no cultural identity and forgetting your roots…..living in city where the lifestyle is so routine, bland and mundane is it not a shame? This which may isolate me makes me no different than all the others who are in the same boat. Call me bias, ignorant or reductive for thinking this way, but surely, my personal experiences, opinions and exposure to this way of life which I am expected to adhere to will have some negative consequences in the way in which I look at it later in my life (?)
 
I am restless knowing that I am a disappointment to my mother in not following traditions; the same traditions that let her down. I blame others for pushing me away further than I could have ever imagined but cannot blame them for who I am, because it is because of them that I have become a strong free spirit and I would not be following my dreams today if I wasn’t.
 
I guess sometimes these multi-faceted cultures and practices that try to root us, lead to us rebelling and finding strength in the most unexpected of ways. 
 
 
Sima
British Born Bangladeshi
And a Londoner
(Events Officer, RestlessBeings)
 


Happy?

Posted Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:03:00 GMT

Unless you’ve chosen to be on a very remote island it would be difficult to elude the global credit crunch and bailout fiasco which has dominated the media. This is not the place to provide the financial theory behind this all but more to articulate some fleeting thoughts on surrounding issues.

 

One thing to mention early on is that many investment bankers and hedge fund managers are awesomely intelligent, have created wealth and opportunity for countless others and can be fantastically generous,

 

But this whole episode does take me back to the very first principle I ever learnt in finance – high risk can lead to very high returns (which it did for a while), and can potentially lead to disaster (which It has). It also takes me to another principle I have learnt via observation – that success is addictive and can make individuals both arrogant and oblivious.

 

Described by one commentator as ‘fantasists in porsches’ some of these guys illustrate the vulgarity of our society. All these risks for what? greater and greater returns, and why?

Too many people in our world define their lives through earnings, possessions and appearances; this can make people miserable as it impedes their ability to meet their fundamental needs. Fundamental needs? What are they, it’s a tough one but this is what me reckons:

 

Emotional/material security:

Emotional? Being at ease with oneself and one’s situation, it’s always too easy to compare and want – ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife’.  

Material? Okay, I have discussed the evils of pointlessly seeking ‘greater and greater returns’. However, to an extent money is definitely important, important for the whole ‘food, water and shelter’ thing, but also for fulfilling another need – the pursuance of passions.

 

Passions:

I guess this can mean different things to different people and contradicting my last point, enjoying them can be free but for me it definitely means money - Arsenal FC and street dance (Danceworks: £6 members/£10 non-members)

 

Friends and family:

As for friends, not talking the fickle FaceBook type but those who we genuinely can trust, share with and look out for. And as for family, I needn’t say more…….

 

A feeling of competence and self-worth:

We all have gifts and most of us need a level of recognition, even a feeling of authenticity.

 

Masters of our own destinies:

A feeling of some control over our lives and our futures, an ability to pursue our needs (as opposed to our wants).

 

So here I am, preaching about happiness and fundamental needs? I’ve got it all sussed right, always as happy as a sand boy? How do I currently rate on the ‘happiness index’?

 

Well, I am still on a Ramadhan-high (for those readers who don’t know, this holy month has just ended in which Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset). This level of sacrifice does give one a new perspective and convinces me (not that I needed convincing) that spirituality (of any kind) goes a long way….

 

However, my luxuries have become my regular needs (one session with my trainer could feed a family in Congo for a long long time), and although I certainly don’t ‘covet my neighbour’s wife’ it can be easy to desire what some have.

 

Okay, so I’m nowhere near, but who in our world has stumbled upon the elusive secret to eternal happiness? That’s a hard one and I’m not sure anyone knows the answer, but I do want to refer back to my last blog re my work with Restless Beings, when describing the street children I encountered at Kamlapur train station (Dhaka, Bangladesh) I did describe how disgusted I was at their situation and I am not too sure how many ‘fundamental needs’ they meet, but something I did go on to say:

 

‘It is wrong to generalize the whole community as distressed, many of the kids seem happy with their own ‘habitat’ and are perhaps emotionally richer than many of us in the West.’

 

 

Tariq

Restless Beings

 

p.s

 

1) But some of these street kids would be so much happier if we could provide them with a rehab centre.     

 

2) Whilst writing this, am pursuing another passion, namely X-factor (watching, not performing). My fave’s Laura, a cheeky Northerner with a real unique tone, and Daniel Evans (in particular his life story) will bring a tear to your eye every time (guaranteed)…

 

 


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