Cultural Identity Crisis

Posted Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:08:00 GMT
My blog is on the subject of confused cultural identities and the struggles some face in their attempts of trying to find a balance in this multicultural, multi-dimensional lifestyle that we lead today.
 
I am writing from my perspective – a British born Asian. I am the eldest of nine children, my parents divorced when I was just over 2 years old and my extended numbers of younger siblings are as a result of both my parents remarrying. Growing up, one of my earliest memories stems from when I was about 4 years old. Anything behind that from as far as I am aware was never a memory. My mother’s stories of her heartache and struggles are all I have and can remember from that age upwards. That heartache she felt is something I feel and blame is a result of the South Asian culture. Times have changed yes, but that is a culture we are still brought up in today.
 
Many say that our people find it hard to differentiate religion with culture, but the vast difference between the to two tell me it’s not difficult, just that our people refuse to acknowledge change and prefer to be ignorant or simple mix the two up to find a ‘convenient’, ‘easy’, ‘acceptable’ and in my eyes ‘confused’ middle ground.
 
I never had a ‘normal’ childhood living with my stepfather and being a step child, the situation was always bought up by distant relatives and family friends at family gatherings such as funerals and weddings and questions were always asked. Curiosity of how my mother had the strength to leave and remarry with another mans child got the better of them, not only was it not the norm for a woman to do so but it was frowned upon. I found it hard to deal with being different, something that plays an enormous part in who I am today.  Being different wasn’t something I wanted to talk about or even admit to myself but as I grew older and as time moved with traditions so did my outlook.
 
I am completely out of touch of my heritage and have struggled to balance in a life where your independence is restricted. I find it easier to be who I am and go completely against all expectations, if I have no association with ‘my’ people, temporarily my life is easier I feel more accepted. My family environment is as far as it is accepted in to my world, a dismissive world in which I live in my bubble of protection.
 
Having no cultural identity and forgetting your roots…..living in city where the lifestyle is so routine, bland and mundane is it not a shame? This which may isolate me makes me no different than all the others who are in the same boat. Call me bias, ignorant or reductive for thinking this way, but surely, my personal experiences, opinions and exposure to this way of life which I am expected to adhere to will have some negative consequences in the way in which I look at it later in my life (?)
 
I am restless knowing that I am a disappointment to my mother in not following traditions; the same traditions that let her down. I blame others for pushing me away further than I could have ever imagined but cannot blame them for who I am, because it is because of them that I have become a strong free spirit and I would not be following my dreams today if I wasn’t.
 
I guess sometimes these multi-faceted cultures and practices that try to root us, lead to us rebelling and finding strength in the most unexpected of ways. 
 
 
Sima
British Born Bangladeshi
And a Londoner
(Events Officer, RestlessBeings)
 


Happy?

Posted Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:03:00 GMT

Unless you’ve chosen to be on a very remote island it would be difficult to elude the global credit crunch and bailout fiasco which has dominated the media. This is not the place to provide the financial theory behind this all but more to articulate some fleeting thoughts on surrounding issues.

 

One thing to mention early on is that many investment bankers and hedge fund managers are awesomely intelligent, have created wealth and opportunity for countless others and can be fantastically generous,

 

But this whole episode does take me back to the very first principle I ever learnt in finance – high risk can lead to very high returns (which it did for a while), and can potentially lead to disaster (which It has). It also takes me to another principle I have learnt via observation – that success is addictive and can make individuals both arrogant and oblivious.

 

Described by one commentator as ‘fantasists in porsches’ some of these guys illustrate the vulgarity of our society. All these risks for what? greater and greater returns, and why?

Too many people in our world define their lives through earnings, possessions and appearances; this can make people miserable as it impedes their ability to meet their fundamental needs. Fundamental needs? What are they, it’s a tough one but this is what me reckons:

 

Emotional/material security:

Emotional? Being at ease with oneself and one’s situation, it’s always too easy to compare and want – ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife’.  

Material? Okay, I have discussed the evils of pointlessly seeking ‘greater and greater returns’. However, to an extent money is definitely important, important for the whole ‘food, water and shelter’ thing, but also for fulfilling another need – the pursuance of passions.

 

Passions:

I guess this can mean different things to different people and contradicting my last point, enjoying them can be free but for me it definitely means money - Arsenal FC and street dance (Danceworks: £6 members/£10 non-members)

 

Friends and family:

As for friends, not talking the fickle FaceBook type but those who we genuinely can trust, share with and look out for. And as for family, I needn’t say more…….

 

A feeling of competence and self-worth:

We all have gifts and most of us need a level of recognition, even a feeling of authenticity.

 

Masters of our own destinies:

A feeling of some control over our lives and our futures, an ability to pursue our needs (as opposed to our wants).

 

So here I am, preaching about happiness and fundamental needs? I’ve got it all sussed right, always as happy as a sand boy? How do I currently rate on the ‘happiness index’?

 

Well, I am still on a Ramadhan-high (for those readers who don’t know, this holy month has just ended in which Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset). This level of sacrifice does give one a new perspective and convinces me (not that I needed convincing) that spirituality (of any kind) goes a long way….

 

However, my luxuries have become my regular needs (one session with my trainer could feed a family in Congo for a long long time), and although I certainly don’t ‘covet my neighbour’s wife’ it can be easy to desire what some have.

 

Okay, so I’m nowhere near, but who in our world has stumbled upon the elusive secret to eternal happiness? That’s a hard one and I’m not sure anyone knows the answer, but I do want to refer back to my last blog re my work with Restless Beings, when describing the street children I encountered at Kamlapur train station (Dhaka, Bangladesh) I did describe how disgusted I was at their situation and I am not too sure how many ‘fundamental needs’ they meet, but something I did go on to say:

 

‘It is wrong to generalize the whole community as distressed, many of the kids seem happy with their own ‘habitat’ and are perhaps emotionally richer than many of us in the West.’

 

 

Tariq

Restless Beings

 

p.s

 

1) But some of these street kids would be so much happier if we could provide them with a rehab centre.     

 

2) Whilst writing this, am pursuing another passion, namely X-factor (watching, not performing). My fave’s Laura, a cheeky Northerner with a real unique tone, and Daniel Evans (in particular his life story) will bring a tear to your eye every time (guaranteed)…

 

 


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